Today is Friday and a ton of people are going out on a first date. It can be the most exciting thing if you are really interested in the person. However, if you are just going to see “how things go”, sometimes you get lucky and have a great experience. However, sometimes you are literally wasting your time.
When I used to go out on dates, I used to be pretty blunt about what I wanted out of that date. My strategy has always been a very direct one: if I was interested, I would be very attentive and trying to ask the things I have interest in a relationship, even if they sounded a bit too direct or too early to be asked on a first date. This way I prevented myself from wasting my time. It is fair to say I started using this strategy after I turned 30 though. By the way, this is not all Brazilians behavior. This is me after learning one thing or two through pain.
When I was in my 20’s, I used to let the guy who was interested in me to approach and take it from there, “see how things go”. After breaking my heart and wasting my time a few times, I decide to “hunt” and not just be the “hunted” one. That means if I were in a bar and I saw somebody who I was really attracted to, I would try to get noticed. I would make eye contact, smile at the guy or even do the cheesiest thing ever: raise my glass and give a sexy look, so he knows I was interested. It was like my way of saying “if you come and talk to me I will not tell you to bugger off”.
So here are 5 of my suggestions for you to know if the date is going in the right path or downhill. It should work the same, no matter which nationality your date is from.
- Your date should be making eye contact with you. That is a good sign that nothing else matters around that person but you. Even if your date is shy, they might look down at times but then into your eyes again. Keep checking your phone all the time is a no no.
- Your date should be asking questions about you. And this person should be listening to your answers. If the person starts talking too much about cats, their grandmother, their car or anything else that you did not ask about, I am afraid they are not that into you. They are just trying to find topics to talk about to fill up the time faster.
- Your date should be funny but also take things seriously. For instance, if I wasn’t into somebody, I would make fun of the situation and of everything. This way we could at least have a laugh although I wouldn’t been interested into having anything more serious.
- If the date reveals something you strongly disagree with such as religion differences or points of view, make sure you come clean in a polite way that the relationship is unlikely to progress. And never forget, you cannot change somebody’s mind.
- If you didn’t find that person attractive at first sight, give your date a second chance by letting their personality seduce you. Sometimes a person is so nice that you might end up falling for your date’s charisma anyway and not just for the looks. And you might end up finding that person the most attractive in the world!!