When I first moved to London, I’ve done internet dating for a month and managed to go out on three dates. Although I was upfront in my profile that I was Brazilian and about what I wanted, marriage in a catholic church, two kids, a fun, loving man, I got all sorts of people interested. Now I get these job descriptions when they say “do not apply if your skills or experience do not meet the criteria”. It is such a time waste when people insist without the “qualifications”! I know it is a bit mean but it prevents frustration on both ends.
Whilst I had a profile I decided not just to be hunted but hunt as well for the man I liked! I really got into an English guy who said he was also catholic, looked attractive and sounded fun. We exchanged a few messages and went on a date in a café in Kensington. Although he looked not as attractive as in the picture, there was still something about him that gave me butterflies in my stomach. The conversation went well but when we said our goodbyes before getting in the tube station, he tried to kiss me! And I turned my face away! I got embarrassed that if I had reciprocated I’d become the “easy Brazilian”. He never contacted me again. Maybe he didn’t like the “hard to get Brazilian”.
When I decided to let myself be hunted, I let a guy who was not catholic but who seemed interested. I met him at a pub inside Hays gallery for a drink. He was from New Zealand so wasn’t sure what to expect. Turns out he was a bit serious and not very fun. To be honest, the conversation was so boring I can’t even remember what we talked about! I have a feeling New Zealanders are fun, I just happened to be picked by the wrong one!
The last but not least was a guy who said to be “half English, half Italian” on his profile. I thought, he sounds perfect, as he has all the qualities I appreciate in English men (polite, gentleman, sense of humour) with the ones I appreciate in Italians (charmer, cuddly, exciting). Turns out his mixture didn’t quite work. He was a bit annoying and far from the good looking Mediterranean look he had in his profile picture. He thought that the date had gone well, but somehow I had to tell him I wasn’t that into him.
So as today is Friday, go to our profile, get out of your comfort zone and try the following:
1. Invite the person who are really keen to meet up with
You have nothing to lose in case the person doesn’t get back to you or turn you down. Just bear in mind that people in London are really busy and a last minute invite might not work out so well.
2. Meet up at a cafe or just for a drink only
If your date turns out to be a nightmare, you are not wasting too much money. It is also easier to get to know each other better whilst just drinking rather than whilst having a meal. If you like your date, you can impress him or her on your next date.
3. Give your date your phone number
In case you are running late or something happen, you can always give the other person a call. But preferably only do this after exchanging a few messages first. Once I played the game too hard and did not want to give my phone to a guy and ended up losing the date. He said: “I don’t mind fighting for a kiss but not for your phone”. He never messaged me again!
4.Use your best perfume or after shave
I personally can’t stand people with bad breath or bad smell in general. If the guy is nice but has bad smells, it completely puts me off. Likewise, if the other person smells nice, it completely turns me on! Before I got together with Dan, just by having him standing next to me with such amazing smell, I could see stars!!
5. Be sincere about how you feel for the other person
No point in lying. If you can tell that the date is not going the direction you want it to, towards the end, tell the other person you would like to keep the contact as friends. No point and telling the good old “I’ll call sometime” when you really don’t mean to. Better be direct than too polite and waste someone’s time for creating expectation.
6. If it didn’t work with somebody, keep looking
It is not the end of the world if your date didn’t work out. Remember that other girl (or guy) you were looking at the pictures? Get in touch and try to set up another date. There is always a lid out there for each pot! Just don’t be too pushy and if the person doesn’t sound that interested, she is probably not that into you. And move on again!
Internet dating wasn’t for me, although I only gave up about it when I found somebody (in a party though). I would still totally recommend it to other people. I also know successful online dating stories, but that I will tell in another post 😉