Friday is here and I know that a lot of people are going to be signing up to a dating site. The choices are numerous and I can testify that it works if not to get right boyfriend/girlfriend, at least you get yourself a date(see my previous post on the subject here). What some people don’t know is that you can make yourself stand out from the crowed by just highlighting your qualities without being cocky. However, some people don’t realise what they are doing wrong and end up not getting any attention or attracting the right people. There are a few no-nos for your online dating profile that if you make sure you don’t do them, it is more likely that you are going to get yourself a date.
When I first started dating my Dan he told me he had a profile with eHarmony. He mentioned about it because he was obviously going to cancel his account, but he let me have a sneak peak of how he was selling himself first before he signed off forever. For those of you who are not familiar with the website, eHarmony makes the account holder answer several questions about yourself. This way potential candidates can read them and decide if they want to contact you. Here is a list of all the things my boy did wrong (lucky me!):
Bad profile picture
I am so thankful I found him in person rather than via the site! Simply because he did not know how to sell himself! For starters, the pictures he was using made he look older. It was more of a CV type of picture rather than a flattering one where he could show off his fabulous physic and his gorgeous blue eyes. It least he had one up, because a lot of people out there don’t include any picture, making you believe that they are so ugly or are hiding something really bad for not wanting to show their faces. Maybe use a picture a friend finds nice of you or a picture that received a lot of likes on Facebook. It least you know you are looking cute for sure!
Boring opening profile statement
His profile was so boring I could had slept whilst reading it. “I am a nice guy looking for a nice girl” sort of thing! As far as I am concerned, everybody is “nice”. He should had let his real self say “I am a hard worker who in my spare time likes to dedicate it to my girl either cuddling up in the sofa, doing an activity together or even travelling somewhere.” This way he would demonstrate that he works hard and he is not a lazy ass as well as that he plays hard but with his girl by his side. Which women wouldn’t like that?
Don’t mention former girlfriends/ boyfriends
One of the questions that made me cringe for him though, was “who is your oldest friend”. Guess what he wrote? It is my ex girlfriend! Which woman wants to know that the men you are interested in not just keeps in touch with his ex but actually treats her like the longest friendship you have? It would only be acceptable if the oldest referred to as in “age”. Then it is okay to have an ex-girlfriend who is twice your age and then by the time you reach middle age, she might be already dead. The ironic thing is, he is actually not that close to her! She lives in Wales and it is now happily married and with kids. They remain friends but barely speak to each other. Surely he could find a male friend that he used to play with when they were little and make his answer more appropriate.
If you don’t want kids, make sure to make this clear
Thank God this was not the case for my Dan, otherwise he and I would be screwed by now, but I thought it was valid mentioning. A male friend of mine told me that he made clear in his profile with Match that he does not want to have kids. He is 38 and willing to get married but with no intentions in the future of changing his mind. He wants to get married but is not into kids. He told me that almost every woman says in their profile that they want to have kids. He says he has no choice but to go on a date with them and “investigate” if they really mean what they write. He is currently seeing someone who he found through Match. He said that the girl is undecided but she thinks she doesn’t want to have kids. It would have made his life easier if she had made it clear on her profile.
As I said, I am glad that my then boyfriend was so rubbish with his profile that he only managed to go on a few dates with some equally boring girls. I am the lucky one who got to know how romantic, funny, caring, intelligent he really is (even though he didn’t think so at the time). I am also aware if something ever happened to me, he would know exactly what to say and how to sell himself in a much better way on his next profile. I hope he will never need to do it again though!